Prejudice in the 21st Century is So Not Sexy

March 10, 2015 21 Comments 12262 Views

We humans are so reluctant to accept let alone cause change, especially when it comes to societal ideologies and traditional values. Personal change is scary, and communal change may be scarier for some. Of course global change is simply unthinkable. 😉


There is a reason we feel safest when we stay in our comfort zones.

woman in a burka

A Muslim woman wearing a burqa to completely cover herself while in public.


We don’t rock the boat, so to speak. We feel in control. We know what to expect, because it’s always the same. But then someone comes along who has looked closely and sees a wound in society that needs to be fixed. We don’t want to be in a rocking boat, so clearly the one rocking it needs to be “thrown overboard” – or go unheard. We close our ears, resist the change, and remain comfortable in our old familiar ways.


How many rights have been granted without protest? How many laws have been changed without riots? How many wars have been fought because people simply can’t accept people?


civil rights movement civil rights act

Racism in employment, voting and public facilities became illegal with the Civil Rights Act of 1964. HOW MANY CENTURIES DID THAT TAKE?


Why are we so afraid of the new and different when it comes to the way society interacts within itself? I’m not even looking very far back in history, and I’m seeing a pattern. Even so, every single change is resisted because people are afraid of change.


women fighting for the right to vote

Women fighting for the right to vote.


This past Sunday was International Women’s Day. We celebrate women because throughout history we have endured so much abuse and belittlement, even as we gave birth to the patriarchs in a patriarchal society. Who knew being born with a vagina could cost so much?




Both men and women work in the sex industry, but women get the brunt of society’s judgement. That’s probably because we’re stuck picturing the prostitutes on street corners in the red light district. In reality, legal sex work is a safe, regulated, and respectable business model. Sex workers include prostitutes (not quite legal in the US, but legal throughout Canada as of last year), porn stars, escorts, phone sex operators, webcam models, etc.


It only seems fitting to talk about webcam models here. Camming is by far the safest adult job, since there is no actual contact between model and client EVER. There is no contact allowed outside of most cam sites, meaning the conversation will always be highly secure and monitored. I’ll talk more about safety and privacy in the future. I mention it here because it’s a common assumption that camming is unsafe, unsanitary, unregulated.


I’m a one woman army working toward the de-stigmatization of the entire industry. Call me a dreamer, lol. 


A reader recently left a comment on this blog, asking how I handle the viewpoint that being a camgirl is “unladylike.” I responded:


I approach it from the viewpoint of the 21st century and the fact that, while the sex industry is still stigmatized due to lack of understanding for the most part, society is progressing. Women voting used to be a thorny issue too. And massage therapy must have been seen as very “unladylike” before it became mainstream…


Protesters at the Equal Marriage Rights rally in Melbourne, Mar 26 2011. Photo Credit: azhrjl via Compfight cc

Protesters at the Equal Marriage Rights rally in Melbourne, Mar 26 2011.
Photo Credit: azhrjl via Compfight cc


Here’s hoping society continues to progress as it always has, one protest at a time. Let’s try to stay away from wars over this one.


No camgirl should be made to feel ashamed of her work, and no camgirl should feel the need to hide. For now it seems the majority of society is not quite ready for us yet. It’s understandable – I mean, seriously:


  1. We are women.
  2. We are sex workers.
  3. What’s a camgirl?


Let’s change that.


I’m no history buff and I don’t even identify as a feminist in the usual sense of the word. I do my best to research and ensure accuracy, but I’m open to kind correction if I’ve got any facts wrong in this post. Also I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this one!


Talk soon.


About author


Founder of Five years on cam. Rocks out on the piano in her free time.

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  1. Joe November 19, at 05:34

    Intelligent and well written, bravo!!!!!

  2. Blushing Indigo February 23, at 22:10

    Not that I’m anyone important but I’ve read at least twenty of ur posts and many of the posts of some of ur other readers since entering ur site only a few hours ago; In my opinion, U seriously rock! I hope to become a success as u have and be an inspiration to others to come. Thank u for being u

    • Cat February 24, at 09:18

      You just made my morning. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog and comment. I really appreciate it!

  3. Halo February 22, at 18:00

    Hey Cat! Awesome post! I am also a cam girl and find it hard sometimes to cope with the stigma attached to sex work. I have lost respect from many people, there have been threads posted about me online, and I am occasionally bullied or mocked by former classmates. I know in my heart there is nothing wrong with sex work and everything that I do is something that I would do anyways but instead of doing it behind closed doors, I am doing it in front of a computer screen. Still what others think and say about me does hurt. I went to a really conservative college and a very good high school and people from my past seem to mock and try to make me feel bad for what I do because there jobs are more vanilla and mainstream than camming. While it is annoying I have learned who my real friends and hope that in the future people are more open minded!

    • Cat February 23, at 01:35

      Hey Halo! Thanks so much for sharing about your experience with the stigma. It can be lonely out there, huh. You’re obviously a strong woman and I respect that you stay true to yourself despite what others might say. I bet they wish they had a fraction of your courage. 😉 Keep it up girl. Best, Cat

    • rosia March 25, at 20:09

      @Halo lol my first thought was ‘but you’re so pretty what the fuck’ lol it’s probably jealousy. i know that probably sounds really cliche and childish, but i believe that in your case it may really be true lol <3

  4. WSF January 07, at 03:43

    I firmly believe all consensual sex work is legitimate. I wish we had a society where I could be open about camming. I’m not ashamed. But I know people who find out will look at me differently, treat me differently- there may be a time when I can’t get hired. People want to buy sex services and then shut the door in their provider’s face.

    • Cat January 07, at 23:20

      You’re absolutely right! It’s hypocritical of people, but I also think it’s the simple stigmatization of sex. It’s like it’s fine behind closed doors but as soon as you’re in the public eye- we won’t even talk about it. That’s why it can be hard being a sex worker in this society, but I am optimistic for progress and an overall more liberal mindset in the future. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  5. Sharleen November 11, at 18:57

    Hello Cat,

    I quit my engineer job 8 months ago to become a Cam Model. And I’m loving it so far, and have never hidden it.
    I also want to share my thoughts about it, tell the world it can be a choice and one can be happy as a sex worker.
    I’m glad to learn about your witness and you can be sure that I’ll support our fight 🙂

    • Cat November 11, at 22:04

      Hi Sharleen,
      Thanks for sharing! It’s awesome that you haven’t felt the need to hide your cam modeling job. I’m sure it gets many different reactions. Stay strong 🙂

    • Cat October 22, at 07:15

      lol, Awesome. 😀

  6. wayne March 19, at 15:30

    Hey Cat,

    Great article by the way! I wouldnt lose any sleep from the opinions of small minded people, I doubt you could change their opinions anyway.

    The sex industry is the worlds oldest industry, its about supply and demand, there has always been demand and there always will be. As you say Cam work is a really safe way for you and others to make a living – keep up the great work 🙂

    • Cat March 19, at 16:23

      Hey Wayne,

      Thanks! I don’t care much what small minded people think; it’s small minded society that concerns me because that’s where the stigma comes from, it’s the collective all clinging to the same old ideas.

      But you’re right about supply and demand. I’ve found it a good business for myself, and it’s definitely a viable option for people that want to try it and can get past the stigma.

      All the best!

  7. jolieryder March 11, at 22:38

    Great post Cat, change does take time but is inevitable! Unfortunately the stigma still pressed by society even in this day and age is that the sex arena industry is taboo – love that you’re fighting back against this in a positive way!

    • Cat March 11, at 23:32

      Good to hear from you Jolie! I think you’re totally right that change is inevitable. I wish it didn’t take so long sometimes though >_< Thanks for commenting on this post.

  8. Eoinmc March 11, at 01:40

    Frankly I have zero issues with women or anyone else for that matter getting involved in the sex industry and I believe that legalisation and regulation help protect sex workers. Unfortunately, as with anything illegal, where there is demand and money to be made, you will find unscrupulous individuals cashing in. In parts of Europe where sex work is legal they don’t have as many problems as where it is illegal. Many East European women are kidnapped and made virtual sex slaves in Western Europe where different mafias are calling the shots. As far as I’m concerned what people do for a living their own business. As for Cam Girls – it is safe – and if it pays the bills – why not?

    • Cat March 11, at 11:03

      It’s always awesome to hear from people with your perspective. You seem to be ahead of the curve on this one! 😉 All it takes is a little critical thought. And you’re absolutely right, where sex work is legal it is not the problem people often imagine it to be. It makes me wonder why, for example, prostitution has still not been legalized in the US. Of course, webcam modeling is legal anywhere that porn is legal. So our only real hindrance is the stigmatization of the entire industry.

      I do agree with you that what people do for a living is entirely their business, and I would also add that what people do for a living does not define who they are as individuals. Being a camgirl has been paying my bills for 2 years and I’m very happy with that. I hope more people will start to see things from your perspective! Thank you very much for adding your thoughts to this conversation. I really appreciate it.

      • Happyguy501 October 28, at 07:23

        Good article I agree the sex industry gets a bad rap. I’ve noticed European and Asian cam girls armoire matter of fact and we’ll just casually let you know I go to university but I hope to see you next time I’m on here. The USA girls or more about trying to put the hustle on you. Which is ok getting you into paid chat is the goal right? It’s kind of like USA where are the Puritans started out in round 1600. So USA girls are more come on baby forget the Puritans come on in. The European and Asian girls are guest friendly no big deal just another day web camming would you like to go private?

        • Cat October 28, at 09:17

          That’s a very interesting perspective, Happyguy. Thanks for sharing what you’ve noticed about how models relate to their guests in different parts of the world!


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